Disco and John

well...remember how I said. John was doing some kind of drugs. Well he was...or is. Our relationship has changed since we last spoke. 
We are not together,  but we have had some moments. 

Let me just be honest his body inside of mine felt different.  Like my body was melting into his. 

I have laid with many dudes. Maybe its the drugs, but this man really Penetrated my soul.
Anyways, I do not want to be in a relationship, but we ended up having a baby.
I want my child to grow up with their mother and father. Something I never had.

John is amazing with our child. I think it changed him. The day our son was born, he promised he would quit the drugs. 

I want to believe him, but I am not naive. Addiction is something that does not just become resolved without constant effort and  lifestyle changes.

The dealer still comes over, but John says he is just a close friend. 

I am not perfect. I have experienced my fair share of drug use. Mostly Cannabis, but a drug nonetheless.

Ever since the baby was born. I have been actively trying to change my lifestyle. I quit smoking cigarettes  

It was hard, but when I thought about my unborn son, I just wanted to be a better woman.

Now about my job. I quit the fast food joint. Just was not for me and with a baby on the way it was not gonna pay the bills.

John has a job, but I am not sure where his paycheck is going. He never has much left over. 

I guess we both know why that is.

I started stripping.  I make good money, but i have to get drunk every night just to tolerate it. 
I have tried cleaning the house. He never cleans anything. I guess since I am a woman it is my job?

It keeps my mind busy,  but how many times can I scrub a toliet?

At least John has been staying home more. When we first met, he would be out the house before 10 am.

I could not say much. We were not in a relationship, but NOW we have a son.

This is the "friend" he still has. I am nice to him, but I do not trust him.

Imma keep you guys posted.


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